Thai is a ten-year-old English Seal Point Siamese well-known to tourists and inhabitants of the French Quarter. He is frequently seen at the Lisa of New Orleans art gallery, which is operated by his mistress. Since Thai speaks only a few words of English, we asked Lisa Hernandez to serve as an interpreter for this interview.
Community Standard: Where were you born?
Thai: At a cattery in Metairie.
Community Standard: When were you born?
Thai: I was born October 14th, 1964.
Community Standard: Who were your parents?
Thai: Princess Nancy and King of the Harem. Lisa Hernandez painted a portrait of my mother in exchange for me. Lisa had owned one of my older brothers, but he got run over, so she special-ordered me.
Community Standard: You don't have children. This is rather personal, but may we ask why?
Thai: I was altered in an Air Force hospital in 1966. The veterinarian was on leave, so the Chief of Surgery, the Assistant Surgeon, the Circulating Nurse, the Nurse Anesthetist, plus the Veterinarian Assistant performed the operation.
Community Standard: Have you traveled much?
Thai: I've been thousands and thousands of miles. I've traveled in Mexico and Canada.
Community Standard: What sports do you enjoy?
Thai: Hunting and cross-country races.
Community Standard: What's your favorite food?
Thai: Chicken, with a capital “C”! My favorite is Colonel Sanders. I love spices and garlic. For my birthday party, I always get a whole roast chicken! I also enjoy salami and lobster.
Community Standard: How do you relax?
Thai: I watch television by the hour. I like to play hide-and-seek and fetch-it. I love to ride in cars, and I love going out at night.
I adore the woods! It's fun to run and walk and chew on the plants. I enjoy playing with flowers, too. Someday, Lisa and I hope to have a big flower garden.
Community Standard: Who are your friends?
Thai: I love pretty young human girls and other animals that don't bite. I adore birds, too.
Community Standard: Do you have any enemies?
Thai: I feel that Conrad in the Alpine has never liked me. Also, once Gene d'Mude said to Lisa, “Why don't you throw that ragged cat in the Mississippi?” I slashed out at him and drew blood.
Community Standard: What are your pet peeves?
Thai: I hate for Lisa to sing. I give her a couple of warnings, then I jab her in the leg. It's that soprano I can't stand….
Community Standard: If you had the power, how would you change your life?
Thai: I want more freedom. I don't like being penned up or on a leash so much, but it is safer. Lisa and I realize that if I was not under close observation, my life would be shorter.
Copyright © 1974–2006 Henry H. Mitchell.